‘Tis the season of the December Dilemma. Many Jews find themselves frustrated with the ubiquity of Christmas in America. It is a discomforting reminder of our minority status. It is hard to explain to children why they can not do the fun things they see among their peers. One aspect of this dilemma is how to respond to “Merry Christmas.” Our replies cover the spectrum: from silence to “Happy Hanukkah” to “I don’t celebrate Christmas!” While these answers reflect our commitment to Judaism, they are not appropriate, “Jewish” responses.
Judaism demands that we respond to all people with derech eretz (good manners) and a cheerful disposition. Our ancient sages taught: “Receive every person with a cheerful expression” and “Derech Eretz precedes the Torah.” Rabbi Joseph Telushkin explains the significance of this last point: “God could imagine humankind existing for thousands of years without the Torah, but He could not imagine us living without … civility.” The Talmud teaches us to follow the example of Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai: “No one ever greeted him first, even a Gentile in the marketplace.” Rabbi Yochanan survived the Roman siege of Jerusalem and destruction of the second temple. He certainly had good reason to treat Gentiles coldly but instead he offered greetings.
Each of us is instructed to respond pleasantly regardless of why we resent “Merry Christmas.” For those who resent the whole season: Judaism forbids you from directing anger about larger problems towards one individual. For those who are curmudgeons by nature, Judaism forbids you from making others feel that they are the source of your ill will. For those who feel that saying, “Merry Christmas” makes them a traitor to the Jewish people, the Mishnah instructs you to return the greetings of a Gentile even if it means interrupting your prayers so that you don’t create bad feelings. In other words, God prefers you stop your conversation with Him to talk with the person standing in front of you because God want us to get along with each other.
When greeted this season with, “Merry Christmas,” you can respond anyway you like: with a smile, a “thank you,” or “Merry Christmas to you.” Just respond with derech eretz. It is the Jewish way to spread holiday cheer.
Post your response by clicking the blue "comments" link just below this line.
People love to hear: "Thank you and Happy Chanukah to you!" Then we can get into a discussion of Chanukah or Christmas means to each of us.
ReplyDeleteI understand completely, as I am told constantly "Merry Christmas"....I say "Happy Holiday"..Therefore I am being polite....But even when asked if I did all my Christmas shopping already.. and I responded that I celebrate Hanukkah.,,,,later in the conversation, it was brought up again, if I am having my family over for christmas and did i get my tree yet?,,,,..The whole world is not "Christmas"..as some people think...
ReplyDeletecindy L
it seems obvious that we jews in
ReplyDelete21st century America have assimilated (to greater or lesser extent) & that's as it should be.
Ergo: "Merry Christmas" is in no way a betrayal of Jewish conviction
as the Talmud teaches. gladys goldberg