Kosher BBQ

Keeping kosher is not just about what you eat. It is largely about the company you keep. In an article about some rules of keeping kosher, Rabbi Yaakov Luban, Senior Rabbinic Coordinator of the Orthodox Union's Kashrut Division, wrote this:

"[The ancient rabbis] enacted three sets of food laws to limit socialization…. the biblical and rabbinic laws of kashruth have formed a natural fortress that prevented the assimilation of the Jewish people into many different cultures of the world…. [today] a kosher kitchen often remains the last bastion against intermarriage and assimilation." (read the full article)

Sure, certain foods like pork and shellfish are simply forbidden. But again, one of the driving principles behind kashrut is the social barrier it provides against mixing too deeply with gentiles. So, if keeping kosher is supposed to be a bulwark against intermarriage and non-Jewish friends, maybe it’s okay to eat baby back ribs if you are already married and your friend is the chef and owner of the BBQ restaurant.

Using LinkedIn, I recently reconnected with an old, high school buddy – a nice, Jewish boy who grew up in a kosher, Westchester home. Jeff, a graduate of the Culinary Institute of America, and his wife Jennifer own and operate a bakery, The Kneaded Bread, and Q – a BBQ restaurant and bar both in Port Chester, New York. We met at the bakery to load up on coffee, hot chocolate and bread before moving to Q for dinner. The menu had enough to fill us up without the ribs – including some of the best chicken wings I have ever eaten (slow smoked, not fried), beef brisket, burgers, fries, hand cut, white meat chicken nuggets. Great food, great atmosphere, nothing bad about it. Except that it’s not “kosher” – at least not by ingredients. But what about by principle?

I believe that connecting with other people – especially old friends – is so important that we should not obstruct it by standing on ceremony. That doesn’t mean that our entire religion goes out the window in the interest of fraternizing. But it does mean that few things should be considered more “kosher” than old friends rekindling their relationship.

I am not the first Jewish leader to suggest revising Jewish dietary restrictions to meet principles of contemporary, progressive Judaism. Rabbi Arthur Green suggests a kind of vegetarianism in his book, Seek My Face. Rabbi Zalman Schacter-Shalomi offers eco-kashrut in his book, Jewish With Feeling. Recent labor and animal cruelty concerns at AgriProcessors (a major kosher meat supplier) have led Conservative rabbis to propose a “heksher tzedek” – certification of ethical rightness – to go along with the standard “heksher” – certification of dietary rightness.

I could not bring myself to eat the pork, despite Jeff’s claims that the ribs were the best in the Northeast (and based on his wings, I believe him). We laughed at the irony of our role reversal: as kids, he was the one checking for lard in the ingredients. We laughed about a lot of things. Mostly we were just happy to see each other, meet the family members, and share a good meal together. His wife excused herself to pick up their older son from Hebrew school and my family had a few more hours of driving ahead of us, so we parted and promised to see each other again soon. Given the attraction of Q’s great food, not to mention our friendship, I think we will. After all, it’s kosher, right?