Why in the world would I schlep my kids around an economically depressed, high crime district in Philadelphia (Ward 17, see right) to canvass for a political campaign? I took them because my 10 year old son will likely participate in choosing the next president after Obama. Both my boys have a lot to learn about individual civic duty, the practical implications of policy and political action, and the diversity of challenges that any president must face.
I took my kids with me to Pennsylvania for the days just before the election because they need to learn about voting. There is good reason why kids can’t vote. They can parrot my statements about anything from economics to foreign policy. But they don’t and can’t really understand what they’re talking about. Kids can’t vote because it would be detrimental to our nation if we gave them such power. We would not be able to ensure our own continuity and stability if kids were allowed to vote. I don’t think anybody disagrees on this point (right?).
So why allow kids to have a vote, and in some cases a veto, regarding the nature of family religious observance and connection to Judaism? In recent weeks I have been disappointed by the lack of turnout and lukewarm engagement at important temple events. Shabbat Hallelu-Simchat Torah-Consecration was the most striking example. A few parents had organized a S’mores Oneg and BYO Dinner before the service. We publicized it widely. It had no cost associated with it. We had the professional “Hallelu” band. We had consecration of new students (each of whom had been personally invited). We had our celebration of the Torah cycle (see my previous post on that subject). We had a chocolate fountain and smores and we danced like wedding crashers with the Torah. But we had a relatively paltry turnout. Our regulars, of course were there. The two sets of parents who specially organized the oneg were there along with two other families who helped. A few of our religious school teachers were there. But the vast majority of our religious school families were not. Almost none of my seventh graders or confirmation students were there with their families (with few exceptions – you know who you are!) . Half of the consecration students and families were absent.
Many of our school parents have told me over the years that their children are among the only Jews in their schools. The parents want the kids to have some Jewish friends, a Jewish “home,” and sense of the Jewish community. Many have shared their outrage at their school's refusal to close for one or more of the High Holy Days. Others come with concern for antisemitism directed at their kids. Some blame the temple as part of the problem. One parent recently told me of his disappointment in the lack of social opportunities and community building in our temple. He "really wants his kids to have some Jewish friends," and doesn't understand why that hasn't happened through MRT. But when I asked about Simchat Torah, he told me that they didn’t come to the social gathering or the services because his attempts to arouse interest were met with dull protest. “Hey! They’re makin’ smooooores!” he cajoled. “Nooooo, we don’t wanna go,” they replied. The veto had been issued and he didn’t feel he had the power to override it - or maybe he was happy to have the "political cover" to avoid something he himself really doesn't want but refuses to admit.
But who gave these kids the power to vote, let alone veto their families' Jewish identity? When did otherwise smart adults cede the wisdom, authority and responsibility for raising their own children and passing on their most important values. This is not the Jewish way (see "teach them to your children" in the v'ahavta) and it's not the American way (see the 18 year old requirement to vote). During my volunteer work in the Pennsylvania campaign, I attended a Get Out the Vote Rally with hip hop superstar Jay-Z. He's no political genius or enlightened philosopher but he is a self-reliant, hard worker who talks about personal responsibility. Addressing the mostly young crowd he simply said: “We can’t hold your hand any further. You’ve got to get out and vote. It’s the only way you bring about the change we need.” I imagined he could be telling me something about my own work at MRT. So I'll pass it on to you: Take back your vote and take back your Judaism. Take back your responsibility and your parental authority. We can’t hold your hand any further. The rest is up to you… not your kids.
I took my kids with me to Pennsylvania for the days just before the election because they need to learn about voting. There is good reason why kids can’t vote. They can parrot my statements about anything from economics to foreign policy. But they don’t and can’t really understand what they’re talking about. Kids can’t vote because it would be detrimental to our nation if we gave them such power. We would not be able to ensure our own continuity and stability if kids were allowed to vote. I don’t think anybody disagrees on this point (right?).
So why allow kids to have a vote, and in some cases a veto, regarding the nature of family religious observance and connection to Judaism? In recent weeks I have been disappointed by the lack of turnout and lukewarm engagement at important temple events. Shabbat Hallelu-Simchat Torah-Consecration was the most striking example. A few parents had organized a S’mores Oneg and BYO Dinner before the service. We publicized it widely. It had no cost associated with it. We had the professional “Hallelu” band. We had consecration of new students (each of whom had been personally invited). We had our celebration of the Torah cycle (see my previous post on that subject). We had a chocolate fountain and smores and we danced like wedding crashers with the Torah. But we had a relatively paltry turnout. Our regulars, of course were there. The two sets of parents who specially organized the oneg were there along with two other families who helped. A few of our religious school teachers were there. But the vast majority of our religious school families were not. Almost none of my seventh graders or confirmation students were there with their families (with few exceptions – you know who you are!) . Half of the consecration students and families were absent.
Many of our school parents have told me over the years that their children are among the only Jews in their schools. The parents want the kids to have some Jewish friends, a Jewish “home,” and sense of the Jewish community. Many have shared their outrage at their school's refusal to close for one or more of the High Holy Days. Others come with concern for antisemitism directed at their kids. Some blame the temple as part of the problem. One parent recently told me of his disappointment in the lack of social opportunities and community building in our temple. He "really wants his kids to have some Jewish friends," and doesn't understand why that hasn't happened through MRT. But when I asked about Simchat Torah, he told me that they didn’t come to the social gathering or the services because his attempts to arouse interest were met with dull protest. “Hey! They’re makin’ smooooores!” he cajoled. “Nooooo, we don’t wanna go,” they replied. The veto had been issued and he didn’t feel he had the power to override it - or maybe he was happy to have the "political cover" to avoid something he himself really doesn't want but refuses to admit.
But who gave these kids the power to vote, let alone veto their families' Jewish identity? When did otherwise smart adults cede the wisdom, authority and responsibility for raising their own children and passing on their most important values. This is not the Jewish way (see "teach them to your children" in the v'ahavta) and it's not the American way (see the 18 year old requirement to vote). During my volunteer work in the Pennsylvania campaign, I attended a Get Out the Vote Rally with hip hop superstar Jay-Z. He's no political genius or enlightened philosopher but he is a self-reliant, hard worker who talks about personal responsibility. Addressing the mostly young crowd he simply said: “We can’t hold your hand any further. You’ve got to get out and vote. It’s the only way you bring about the change we need.” I imagined he could be telling me something about my own work at MRT. So I'll pass it on to you: Take back your vote and take back your Judaism. Take back your responsibility and your parental authority. We can’t hold your hand any further. The rest is up to you… not your kids.
This is a fantastic little comment which extends to any faith or matters of family and cultural identity. We are what we do, and do with our children, regardless of what we say we desire. If we don't do anything about our supposed family traditions, then what are they? What is it we are transmitting instead?
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