Kol HaKavod (translation: "kudos") to Alyssa Marchiano and her entire family. She celebrated her bat mitzvah this past weekend and set a new standard. All future bar and bat mitzvah students should strive to hit the same mark. I usually do not single out a particular student for doing such a great job with the ritual duties and d’var torah. Ally is no exception. She did very well with her Torah and Haftarah and all her parts but that’s not the standard she set. I don't uniquely celebrate her service leading or Torah reading. I celebrate how she built community.
Ally’s service was so special because there so many little things in place that morning. Specifically, I mean that there were so many "little" worshippers in the congregation. Ally had invited her entire seventh grade religious school class to her bat mitzvah and most of them were there. I can not overstate the joy it gave me to see Sam, Mel, Rachel, Jesse, Zachary, Jacob, Molly, Brandon, Sara, and Jacob at services Saturday morning (and equally nice to see Jacob and Madison on Friday night). Inviting the group is a simple little thing, but it’s so much more.
I tell every student that they become leaders in the eyes of the Jewish community when they become bar or bat mitzvah. They lead us in prayer, in Torah study, in deeping our connection to mitzvot, and in building community. The first three tasks are accomplished through the services and their school work. They lead us in building community by gathering people together on the day of their celebration.
It is a rare but incredible thing when a seventh grade student takes this leadership role seriously – as Ally Marchiano did – and consciously works to build community. She may not be such "good friends" with all the members of our temple seventh grade. She also had plenty of school friends and basketball and soccer teammates on her guest list. However, I have heard several reports from seventh grade parents about how much their children enjoyed being together on Saturday. We do a good job creating community and connections at the school but nothing can replace the social bonds and strenghtening connections that come from a day of celebrating together. I hope all our families will follow Ally’s example and lead the community by building it. They really will come.
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